Anyways, what was I talking about? Oh yeah; hotel rooms. Ever since I heard Jim Gaffigan describe hotel rooms as 'the reason the Ten Commandments were written,' my gag reflex goes into high gear at the thought of staying in one.
As you may know, Sam Horney lives in hotel rooms every other week for his job. And since Clara and I hit the open road to go visit him whenever we can...
I have to stay in hotel rooms.
With my darling infant daughter.
Imagine me choking back stomach acid right about there.
But in the words of that great sage, Rihanna, I'm stupid in love...so I unpack my bags and pretend I don't know that I'm sleeping in a bed where thousands of other strangers have also slept. (stomach acid, stomach acid, choking, choking...)
So, for your Friday pleasure, may we present...
"How to Live in a Hotel Room and Not Feel Like a Hobo"
By Jessie and Clara Horney
|bring your computer. bring your boppy. bring your bible. |
BRING A BLANKET TO COVER UP THE COUCH.
|bring your own pillows. bring a million little blankies.|
|bring your baby. and her mad face.|
|thank your mother in law for buying a diaper bag that doubles as a changing table.|
|use the dresser drawers for snacks.|
|plug in a little scentsy burner.|
|hold hands. |
(this may lead elsewhere, however. you've been warned.)
|bring your slippers.|
|bring your binks.|
|bring your favorite comfy socks.|
|and for goodness sakes, DO NOT FORGET to bring your bunny chair.|